when in rome...

when i was lining up to buy that movie ticket, my perception was a it's like any other love story. like valentine's day, like the proposal or i dunno how many others i've watched. my friends told me it's a good movie, so, ok, it's no harm watching it.

when i was sitting in the cinema, the theatre, lovers were around me. that time, it struck me that love's everywhere. i was sitting alone, in the middle of these crooning-to-each-other couples. but i was not lonely, somehow, i can understand how these lovers feel. it's just that my partner is yet to be found. somewhere, out there.

when i watched the whole movie, i could relate myself to beth, the main character. she's a workaholic (me? well, let's just say i'm somewhere between a nerd and denial state). she's fallen in love for many times and all those times, she felt hurt. she was cynical, totally believe in the perfection of her judgment. like me. as far as my ego can be seen out there, deep down in this little heart, i'm just a scared little girl who doesn't want to experience pain anymore.

when i saw rejection in the faces of those guys who fell for beth, i understood the dilemma. i understood the pain of saying NO although that's the right thing to do. i understood how it felt to be rejected.

when i saw the disbelief in beth's eyes, and the anxiety that filled her due to fear of the love story she was having was only fantasy until nick beamon convinced her otherwise. i understood that fear of being hurt again. i understood how much effort is needed for such a huge commitment.

when in rome made me see.

when in rome, i felt inexplicable emotions.

when in rome, i just felt like i should open up this heart, with old wounds all over, to heal with love.

when in rome, maybe, just maybe, mine is not in rome. the other half of my heart can be anywhere else in this world.

i just need to have faith and watch out for it.

when it comes, i shall embrace it.