Fun facts about Italy.

Italy. sounds like an awesome country to visit eh? haha...unless you're ready to let me shatter your imagination on such a wonderful country, then don't read this post. :D hehehe...:) but if you're really into getting to know Italy, then read on. :)

before i proceed, i want you to know that there were only 4 cities that i went (NO VENICE and MILAN, PEOPLE...i know..i know...it's like the must-visit cities...) which were Pisa, Florence, Siena and Rome. :) It was a 6 day trip for the Three musketeers. :) (if you see the photos in my FB account, then you'll know why)

ok. here goes.

1. Pisa is all about the Leaning Tower. seriously. it's a small city and that's the main and only attraction. But, you can rent a bicycle or rickshaw for 5 euros, 40 minutes ride around the city. It's a bit of exercise and saves a lot of time if you're just there for one day. :)

2. Florence. yes, you know that Florence is the city which the Renaissance began. But, I found it a little bit disappointing because in my mind (after studying a lengthy period of class just on renaissance) i had always imagined the grandeur of everything. Dude, it's THE RENAISSANCE we're talking about. but in the end, my disillusionment was broken. Yes. The city's beautiful. but it wasn't maintained well enough to glorify its renaissance heritage. the Duomo (a huge Cathedral really..) is obviously old and grand, but yeah. that's pretty much it because the buildings surrounding the Duomo are not that pretty. HOWEVER, if you wanna shop, people, don't shop in Rome or anywhere else. the good leather stuff and low price souvenirs are mostly in Florence. :)

3. Siena? A local town. really small but grand on its own. It seems a little bit calmer because not many tourists stop in this city and that's why I love it. it's like mingling in a local place where we get to see an actual Italian culture and not some tourism facade. :) So, if you want a quick runaway from all the touristy cities, siena is a must go place. :)

4. Unless you really like old ancient ruins of buildings and remnants of a 2000 year old city and have a general idea of how awesome Ancient Roman was, then Rome is the place for you to go. true, it's the capital city of Italy but it's soooooo touristy in front of the Furro Romano (Fort Romano) or even the Colosseum that you just get annoyed with all the people trying to relive the Ancient Roman's grandeur in plastic costumes of Trojans and soldiers...Plus, it's pretty much expensive to get into the Colosseum (10 euros) and a few other places. One advice, go in if you really are enthusiastic to see the buildings, if not, keep your money and spend it on gellato instead. :)

5. Most European maps may seem big on paper but actually the places are pretty much in walking distance. Like the time when we went to the Vatican City, we had to take a tube (wait..tube is for the Brits...Italian call theirs metro...) because we didn't wanna lose our reserved tickets to get into the Vatican museum. other than that, don't use money on public transportation over there. have a walk around. it feels much more refreshing that way (though at the end of the day you'll sleep like a log.)

6. You don't have to worry about time in rome because almost every inch of the city, there will be a clock stand showing you the time. :)

7. The Italians drive on the right hand side like the Americans. but trust me, their driving style? just like malaysians, baby! :)

8. For photography freaks like me, Italy's like a heaven with all its vintage classical grandeur of the past. Vespas on the road, graffiti on the walls and the oldness of everything can make one feel like opening a gallery just to display monochrome pictures. :)

9. FOOD. basically, it's just pizza and panini. but one thing you must know is that Nutella Crepes is the most heavenly food ever and Gellato (a type of European ice cream...like seriously dense and intense ice creamm..haha...)is plain awesome in many flavors!!!! HAHA...

10. if you have a tiny bladder like me, it's kinda hard to find public toilets in Italy. :( either you have to pay 50 cents to get in or you have to queue a long line near the Colosseum, toilets are pretty hard to find. really. and it really annoyed my two other friends because i kinda needed to use the toilet quite a few times. :D hahaha...

11. don't allow yourself to be deceived by the fountain in the When in Rome movie (the actor's Josh Duhamel and the girl from I Love Beth Cooper). it doesn't exist. we tried to find it, just for the fun of being on a movie setting. but when we asked the tourist info counter, we just got weird looks. :D this is how Hollywood succeeds in making us believe the existence of such fountain. =.="

12. Unlike Paris, where romance is sooooo overrated at the Eiffel Tower (i've been there..paris was a disappointment...it's just a city with really good photoshopped pictures..), romance in Rome is awesome!! just go to one of the plazas (a square full of fountains and people hanging around) and there will be really talented street artists. I met this guy called Claudio Spadi and he looked and sounded like Chad Kruger (Nickelback's vocalist). You can even request songs to be played, dance to the songs or just sit there and watch people. :)

So people, how's Italy? :)

was it real?

many convinced me that it wasn't real. but they're not the ones having the relationship. only i alone know how much i sincerely loved him. people may say i made the wrong choice. but it was one hell of a wrong choice because i can never get him out of my head. that means, I truly loved him.

people told me that nobody can love anyone just from sympathy. let me share with you. yes, i felt pity for him at first because I know we're too different from each other. Different family backgrounds, different pasts and for me, I had never had any commitments. Know how i changed pity into love? I fell in love when I saw him with his mother. and sisters. and the way he treated them. At that moment, i knew I had to give him the chance. I put my soul out there for him. and it happened. we really did fall in love.

but if i am sincere, why am i still hoping for his love when i know it will never come back? maybe because i'm still clinging to the past, when we both were madly in love and didn't realize how we both could change drastically as we grew further apart.

many got tired of me missing him. of me crying for him. of me to even mention his name. but what if that's the only option to stay strong and not go crazy about it? the tears that flow are not for him. but for myself. for my wounded heart. I thought i guarded my heart well enough. but no. I don't regret of loving him. because if i do regret, then it's not sincere.

right now, he's being a jerk. but as disillusioned as people tell me that i am, i know his other side. the side that he hates to be blamed when all he felt was he could not love me anymore. he was not ready. his idea of relationship was not about commitment. all he wanted was the fun part of chasing me. as bad as that sounds, can we really blame his feelings? Human feelings are fickle. we all know that. From pity, I fell in love. and for him, from love, it changed to pity. and he realized that pity is not good for any of us especially me who sincerely waited for him.

he was brave for trying to reach my heart. but he's just not that into me anymore. he's seen my worst and he couldn't accept me, so what's the point of our relationship? he grew tired of me. even if I fight till the end, and i really did, it won't change how he feels for me. i tried over and over again to save ourselves from all the heartache. but still it happened.

people told me it's not worth it anyway. people said i deserve someone better. people told me, he just doesn't realize how valuable i am. bla bla bla. all the break up cliches.

but people. listen to me. I loved him. and as stupid as it sounds, I still do. but I need time. I don't search for rebound boyfriends. I am sad. and let me be. grow tired of me? then you don't understand the pain yet.

i hate to sound so negative. but when i'm sad, my blog is the victim.

Angels cry?

And so the sun is my best friend,

Golden angels reaching the sky,

The blue sky and clouds pass by.

it takes time.

Photo: The Queen's Memorial at Buckingham Palace.

Photographer: Me

Wasted. (Spoiler Alert: not THAT wasted)

Spring Break is here.

and how do I spend my time?

1. Ultimate Facebook all day long. (heck, i can do this everyday..hahaha..)

2. How I met Your Mother marathon. (Barney Stinson is my best friend right now.)

3. The Vampire Diaries saga. (despite me being annoyed at how everyone wants to save pretty face Elena, I still watch it for the sake of boo-ing at Stefan Salvatore for being so lame while Damon Salvatore does all the thinking on how to save a girl that doesn't love him at all. Bad guys win. Unless you watch this show, you won't understand what I'm talking about anyway. :P)

4. Spring Cleaning (Starting to sort out stuff that I won't be using anymore for this coming one and a half month before I head back. Thinking again....how am I supposed to pack all these shoes? =.=" )

5. Sleep. (Been sleeping early and wake up late. Frankly, I've been doing it often this spring semester. Maybe it's the fact that the clock goes forward makes me appreciate time more. Thanks to the spring forward daylight saving system. )

6. Eat? (No. If you call drinking mineral water all day long, and only a few bananas in between, i don't think i should consider that eating. it's just Snacking...)

7. Knowing that I have two essays due right after the break but not starting on anything yet. (I have essays due. Both RESEARCH essay which take a lot of time to finish it. Oh well, I gotta work hard for this. My final two papers. and one of it I always get a B+ no matter how hard I try. so, please, Nurul. one last chance before final exams. come on, baby.)

8. YOUTUBE-ING jessie j. (Oh man, you gotta listen to this pure talent. Ignore her gaga-ish look and interesting facial make-ups. Just close your eyes and embrace the sound of her voice. She's got one hell of a talent. It's been a wonder why she used to write songs for other people when she can sing really well. )

9. Shopping. (My money has been running low lately. Can't go into a shop without buying anything. This is pure pathetic, Nurul. I dunno where my self-control went but yeah. Money. Shopping. Time. and a lot of things to pack before I go home. )

10. Hanging out with my friends here in London. (It's been fun hanging out with them. lately, we hung out more often. i feel grateful that they came into my life. I may be a passer-by in their lives, but I wish to make myself a memorable passer-by. :) Will miss them terribly. Oh well, they did say they wanna visit me in New York. hehehe..)

11. Missing those who matter to me. This does not need any breaks or holidays because I miss them every single day of my life. Will be meeting them very soon. :)

Oh. Just wanted to quote Jessie J song lyrics because I really love those words...

"Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing. It's ok not to be ok. Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart. Tears don't mean you're losing. everybody's bruising. Just be true to who you are."

Not relevant to my post for today but just wanted to share with you that there are still composers who write good motivational song and it's not all about penis, vagina and rocking the bed.

Remember that time?

remember that time when we were good friends and how you were jealous that i like another guy and not see you? you tried so hard. when i look at you properly, i thought you're bringing me hope. alas, i was mistaken.

remember that time when you tried so hard to win my heart? want to know how you've won it? you broke my heart. total damage, sweetheart. thank you so much. now i'm just another girl in your girlfriend trophy cabinet. i hope at least i'm d biggest prize. feels like a consolation for me. :D

remember that time when you promised me a billion things when all i wanted was for you to love me and accept me as who i am? you've seen my true colours. you've seen me vulnerable. instead of embracing me at my worst, you attacked me when i let my guard down. now, your promises are still here even if you're gone. how will you answer to God of the promises you made to me?

remember that time when we used to have good times? and even if we quarrelled, it was of useful stuff? why so bitter to me now when it was you who hurt me? Now i understand the concept of bitter sweet relationship. only now, i understand the bitter part more. :D

remember that time when you said i was clingy and needy and just plain bothersome? think about yourself, honey. we all have flaws. i'm not a perfect girl. and you're not a perfect boy either.

remember that time when everyone doubted you and i told you to ignore all those bad comments and gossips about you? as much as i was sincere, i couldn't help feeling hurt that you believed in others more than you believed in me. you bowed down to peer pressure. and let them tell me bad things that shook my faith in you. i fought. fought them to believe in you.

remember that time when i loved you? i still do. even if you hurt me. even if you ignore me. even if you're amazing at being a total jerk. so, what happened to your love? you said you pitied me? how wonderful. Alhamdulillah, i am the peak of my life, i am the one who should pity you because no one seems to believe in you at all.

remember that time when you already had me replaced? wow. i'm impressed. make sure you don't lie to her. don't hurt her feelings. don't raise her hopes when all she does is loving you and accepts you as who you are. don't ever EVER try to break her heart. don't make the same mistake to her like you did to me. learn, sweetheart.

remember that time when you told me that love can change? for you, it turns from love to pity. for me, it's from love to disbelief. do you even know how worse disbelief is than being pitied at?

Dear God, please. please. let me go of this torture. release me from this obstacle. I know I've sinned so much. I've learnt my lesson. I should've kept my heart for the one that deserves it. You. Dear God, please. if this is the way for You to give me strength, I have to admit, I am not strong enough. Please. Guide me with your hidayah. Guide me to love You more than anything else in the world. Forgive me for my mistakes. Forgive me for being so angry at this small task of testing my patience and strength. Forgive me, dear God. It is hard for me to be strong for others. people see my smile and laughter, o Allah. please keep it that way so that they won't be bothered with my sighs and tears. it is hard for me to keep smiling in front of my family and friends when all i'm feeling is to fall down and cry. At times, I am so angry that I forgot Your existence. I feel like giving up. it is hard for me, O God. I'm trying my best. but i can't help crying in front of You. Pardon me for all my sins. Set my heart straight. Heal it so that I can forgive and forget. I rely on You. Thank you, Allah. for this small task of yours let me learn about life.