meaningful 15 minutes with a stranger

adik, adik duduk la depan tuh. ape lagi yg mau tunggu? masuk, masuk. tunggu ah. saya pi tgk org yg nk pergi south city sekejap.

that...was the man who drove me back to uniten tonight. with his yellow cab, plate number, erm...i forgot already laa...name..well, let it be mr. P.

i learnt something from him.

about my safety. as a girl.

ey, u mau balik uniten ka? sy antar itu perlis mau x? mana tau kan, saya ni penculik ka apa ka.
adik, ape itu keselamatan? keselamatan adik, x perlu risau laa...saya bwak kereta, sy laa yg jge keselamatan adik. tp, keselamatan ape yg adik ade dlm kereta???

that question struck me. not in a bad way, but in a very truthful way it's like seeing something soo bright right in your face. yeah, what did i do to protect myself inside the car?? what if this uncle is gonna do something bad to me?? what if i might not reach uniten tonight?

what am i supposed to do??

then, later uncle P pointed out my biggest mistake..

adik...kenapa adik x da mintak sama saya tiket taxi adik?? adik tau x tiket itu manyak penting punya untuk keselamatan.

this is the reason.

ON THAT TAXI TICKET, there is a serial number that can be easily traced by the authorities to detect wrongdoings among the taxi drivers. uncle P explained, saying that, if anything happens, MAKE SURE ONCE U ENTER THE CAR, D FIRST THING U SHUD DO, IS GRAB ( i mean, ask) FOR THE TICKET. DO NOT FORGET.

uncle p continued to question me.

adik, apa nama saya? apa number ic saya?? kereta ini warna apa? brand apa? nombor plate, kamu tau ka?

i realised i didn't. that was very dangerous for me, usually i wouldn't let my observant nature be in a vulnerable state but tonight, i really felt tired. all i know is i felt grateful that i got an early taxi once i left the train. i didn't even bother to know uncle P's name, or any sort of identification that my usually quick mind will memorize. therefore, after this, REMIND YOURSELF, NO MATTER HOW TIRED YOU ARE, ENSURE THAT U ALLOW URSELF TO SILENTLY MEMORIZE THE NAME, IC NUMBER OF THE TAXI DRIVER N REGISTRATION NUMBER OF THE CAR. this helps the authority in a very significant way when something unwanted happens.


also, i would love to add here, my friend recently lost her phone in a taxi while she went for a ride in it. she didn;t realize it was missing until la the taxi tuh dh drive away with an unbelieving speed. BEFORE WE LEAVE ANY PUBLIC TRANSPORTS, ENSURE THAT ALL OUR BELONGINGS ARE STILL WITH US. CHECK ESPECIALLY THE POCKETS AND UNDER THE SEATS. THEN, IF GIRLS, DO ENSURE THAT BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE CAR, U HAVE ALREADY ZIPPED YOUR BAG.

see what i learnt from a 15 minute journey from serdang to uniten. i really felt grateful to learn from a man like uncle P. he really does his job as an individual who cares about the whole community.

terima kasih, adik. jangan lupa ah apa saya sudah pesan. saya cerita sebab kamu sama saja macam anak saya.

thank you too, uncle P. may god bless u with all the kindness in the world in your life.

luckily, it was uncle P.

can we really get to know people in the virtual realm?

lately been crazy browsing through people's blogs. kinda a good activity really except for the eye strain once u forget to blink due to being sooo absorbed in the posts.

one thing i can learn.

people say that, if it's online, we can hardly judge people.

reasons:
1. we cannot see the true faces of these people.
2. maybe they are just putting up gimmicks so that people read their blogs.
3. eleh, nothing laa. it's electronic, no way u can study people's behaviour from their blogs.

i would love to add more reasons but i don't wanna bore myself typing down the long list of misconception of people towards blogs and stuff.

how can we actually judge people from their blogs or social networks and stuff??

the most apparent factor would be the pictures.

we can see how and what types of photos are uploaded into their blogs or networks. it could be their families, friends, tehmselves or just objects. in my theory, the ones who put pictures which include others like friends or families mean that they prioritize these people in their lives. especially pics with bf and gf kinda thingy. as forindividual pics, i believe these type of people are really confident of themselves. if not, why would they expose their pics for many people to see right?? we can interpret this type of picture with various objectives but all would come back to the level of confidence these people have. just watch the body language, the eye contact with the camera n stuff, and voila, u can easily hypothesise about them in just one click.

another thing that contributes a lot is how much they reveal themselves online.

ok, this can be quite contradictory to beliefs but still, i think that those who reveal a lot in their profiles and stuff are people who can easily open up to new people around them. maybe in real life, they might not seem that way but by revealing themselves online, it could be a source for them to project who they actually are in the real world. maybe they don't have enough courage or just being mysterious, we do not know. again, different circumstances can be interpreted differently. it needs congruent observations to finally identify what type of person we are in the virtual world.

i would also observe on how often they update or go online.

this is a factor which vaguely conveys the type of person if we are to judge them in the virtual realm of cyber. hehehe. a lot of variables need to be considered in order to construe who we really are when we surf the internet. some might treat facebook, ym or whatsoever so called networks seriously because the people they care often go online. others would just merely treat them as a recreational activity where they can wind down after a long day of work or study.

i don't know.

these are my assumptions.

on how i see life. from the cyber world perspective.

natural instinct also plays a highly significant role in evaluating people via the cyber realm. who says that if we are in this virtual realm, nothing is real? could be out there somewhere, there is just a real person as lively as a soul should be, just waiting for all the lies in the virtual world to mitigate.

maybe, all we need is to just trust. hmmmm.......

my own brand of soul vitamin

Ya Allah,

ampunkanlah dosaku,
ampunkanlah dosa kedua ibu bapaku,
ampunkanlah dosa guru-guruku,
ampunkanlah dosa seluruh muslimin muslimat yang masih hidup atau yang telah meninggal dunia.

ya Allah,
Kau terangilah hatiku,
lapangkanlah dadaku,
bukakanlah mindaku,
agar aku boleh menerima segal ilmu yang telah atau akan aku pelajari.

ya Allah,
kuatkan semangatku,
tetapkan keimananku,
jauhkanlah aku dari sebarang kemungkaran,
kau dekatkanlah aku dengan segala kebaikan.

ya Allah,
permudahkan kesulitanku di dunia dan akhirat,
Kau tunjukkanlah aku jalan yang benar,
bantulah aku untuk melihat hikmah di sebalik kejadian yang telah Kau tetapkan.

ya Allah,
jadikanlah aku ini,
hambaMu yang beriman,
umat nabi Muhammad yang taat,
anak yang solehah untuk kedua ibu bapaku,
pelajar yang cemerlang untuk guru-guruku,
sahabat yang baik untuk sahabat-sahabatku,
jadikanlah aku ini manusia yang berguna, ya allah.

ya Allah,
dengarlah rintihan hambamu ini.
aku mohon rahmatMu ya allah,
makbulkanlah doaku ini ya allah.
meskipun aku sedar, aku telah banyak melupakanMu, ya allah.

amin, ya rabbal alamin.

insecure weyh.

today, i don't know why, all of a sudden, i feel i'm not suitable for the job. not a good class rep. suddenly, felt really down. i have already pointed out that there's a possiblity that i should step down. i told my bestie about it. actually i dah point out few times but it wasn't taken seriously. not that i hate the job. it's just feels likes i haven't done enough.

i know i shouldn't feel that way because my friends tell me not to.

but...

sometimes, i feel inferior to all my other friends.

yet, i still want to fight. is this normal?

to feel insecure although you know, you should just be yourself??

there are times when i feel myself not qualified to be around these really super duper extraordinary classmates i have now, (although they might think otherwise).

seriously.

i know, i also have my own strength. yet, my strength's beginning to ebb away.

it's unacceptable to do so.

the exams are looming up.

i have my responsibilities towards my parents, siblings and my grandma.

i should stay strong and fight my way to achieve my dreams.

i guess, maybe it's just another bad day.

no way, girl.

listen to yourself.

you are not going to lose this.

yes, maybe others are way better than you, but take it as an opportunity to learn from them. it's just that your strength is different from theirs.

yes, maybe you think you are not a great leader or something (surely you are only normal) where you make mistakes and people judge you for that.

yes, others love to laugh and make fun of me, but that does not mean it's because i'm stupid. optimistically, they adore you as their friend.

girl,

you are who you are.

stay that way.

be strong.