here's the thing. She's worried about not having a boyfriend yet. I mean, she's 20, and she feels like she's the only one who's left behind with no so-called taste of relationship. Don't get me wrong, she already fell in love, wayyyyy before I did, in fact, to a guy at school. But they never made it official or anything of that sort when it comes to couples. To summarize their 'friendship', it's about both of them loving each other but nobody said anything about their feelings. And then, one day, their special-but-we're-not-a-couple relationship ended. And until today, I will never understand why and how it happened.
Anyway, back to the topic. She's worried. I must say, in my society, somehow, there's still this mentality that by our 20s, women should already have someone in their lives a.k.a boyfriends, r even better, long term partners. Please do not take this mentality wrongly, it's just that, some of my parents' generation still emphasize on the importance of marriage and having one own's family. It's considered one of life's success. and parents with daughters especially, are super aware of their little girls' future stability.
But with modernity quickly setting into the younger generation, this emphasis still holds, but in one condition, you gotta have a taste of relationship before any sort of marriage. Ok, i might sound generalizing, but mostly, yeah. I don't remember who the guy is, but I read his quote in the Evening Standard (that's the free newspaper you get in London every evening), he said, people nowadays want to try the milk first before taking the cow. :) Take it any way you want, but I agree this notion to a certain extent. Arranged marriage can be seen as super old-fashioned (despite the proven success of long lasting relationship from what I observed in my family, i.e, my grandparents) and everyone feels there's other much more priorities in life like success in career and financial matters. Relationships may not even be a central element in a workaholic's life, generally speaking. When you have one, you already put a high expectation of how a relationship should be (thanks to the influence of media too on how love should be). That's why you keep on tasting and trying to find the perfect milk despite the cow has already been good enough for you. (my analogy can be very confusing, pardon me for that.)
I've tried to explain to my best friend about how it is common to feel a little bit worried. I mean, isn't it an innate feeling that we want to have another half or soulmate, call it whatever you want, in our lives? The romantic part of me wants someone that will smile and kiss me every morning as soon as he opens his eyes and see me lying next to him, simply hugs me on my bad days and raise our children as best as we both can (I can't help being a dreamy romantic person...)It's just our nature to feel loved. and for me, my best friend is just feeling insecure. She said she feels jealous of all our other friends have already found their other halves. But, honey, how sure can you be? Life is unpredictable.
I feel insecure too. After being dumped by someone who I didn't even think that I would fall in love with in the first place (he's my first, and boy, was he a very difficult character), I don't know how I feel towards relationships anymore. I mean, I feel happy and jealous seeing my best friends' happy relationships, thinking how I am a failure sometimes. I felt traumatic but because I am so into having my own family in the future, there's this small glimmer of hope shining from the broken pieces of my heart. :) And what's with certain people bragging about their girlfriends or boyfriends? I mean, I understand you're happy, you're in love etc, but to some extent, frankly, it can make single people like me feel like a loser. haha...(I sound bitchy...hmm..haha)
So, my dear best friend, and whoever feels this way, please don't worry. despite the worrying statistics of how men are less than women nowadays (a sign that the world is going to end soon according to Islam), think positively. Have faith. I mean, in Islam, we truly believe that Allah determines our 'jodoh'. I can never guarantee whether you will find your soulmate or your relationship can last forever or anything good or bad happens to you...Life's unpredictable. But life also gives you hope. Just put your best foot forward, be very good to yourself and face everyday with a sincere smile formed on your lips.
because, girl, you might never know when a guy will get electrocuted by that dazzling smile of yours. :) let the one have the most pleasant surprise in his life by having you.
