you are what you read.

i may write my views.
that might appeal to yours.
or even oppose to your beliefs.
i may write my heart out.
to let your hearts know that i, too, know.
i may write long, or short.
i may write jargons.
but words are never jargons to me.
you may succeed to despise my words,
or fail to hide the sense you get in them.
try as you might, do your very best, for trying is living.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

The first-time sentimental impact

"This is it." were the first three words I whispered to myself as the plane descended to the city below. The sun was being friendly despite the fact that summer was almost over. Everyone was murmuring to the wonderful weather. The first impression that I had for dark sombre English weather, shattered. Geez...movies really have that kind of influence on me.

The first picture? The Emirates airplane that brought me to this city. I received quite a few awkward glances from people getting off the plane, but who cares? All I could think of was the fact that I made it. I got out of my country. Alone. :) Not that I don't love Malaysia, it's just that all my life, my dream was to go overseas. and there I was, getting off the plane and thanking God for giving me the chance to come here.

London.

Oh London.

Where should I start?

London so quiet at 3am even at the central zone? The red buses? The stinking smell of pee on the pavements and underground platforms?? How I memorized the tube stations and different colors of tube lines? Starbucks coffee almost every inch in London? Or the crowd when Primarks just opened in the morning? Or maybe how fast the drivers drive despite the narrow streets and braking right on time when a pedestrian crosses the road? and how everyone snickers in the tube when the instructor makes funny jokes about the rush hour crowd? and how you can't separate between a gay guy and straight one just because British guys dress so properly in general? or maybe the dodgy outlook of the buildings/theaters but once you're inside, your breath is taken away by the grandeur of the elaborate patterns on the ceiling?

I can't believe I just ended my freshman year. I've faced so much in this city. I learnt to force myself out from my comfort zone although virtually, I still stick with my old friends. I've walde don the cobbled streets, seen totally different sides of the city when I'm standing near the Westminster Area and the Bank area. I've been to the Greenwich Observatory where TIME matters. :) I've faced both prejudice and kindness because of my hijab: once was at Westminster Abbey when this caucasian guy gave me the middle finger and the other was a Jewish guy helping me out with something. I've learnt that in college, getting an A needs a different kind of effort. I've learnt that i have awkward English. haha...but they still love my American accent. and how I can speak perfectly well in the British accent? :D uh-oh. I'm starting to brag.

and I've travelled as much as I could because it's so easy to start when you're in London. around the UK, Ireland, Spain, France, Italy and soon I will head to Germany, Austria, Czech Republic, Switzerland and Poland. I will definitely come back to finish my travel around Europe. hmm...

I will miss this city. When I come back, I will no longer be a Londoner, merely just a visitor. There's so much difference when you're being a visitor and actually living here. I'll be jealous of my best friend, Nabilah, who will spend the next three years of her life in this wonderful city. I might be biased because I really like London. Plus, this is my first time out of the country, so yeah. Maybe the first time effect really had its impact on me.

London. You will be loved, missed and remembered; truly, madly, deeply.








Thursday, May 12, 2011

You are strong. Hell yes, you are.

This time, it's a post for all the strong people out there. if you ain't tough enough to read this, then don't.

People,

Life can be really hard sometimes. But at the very same time, life is truly awesome.

Life depends on how you live it. :) So, live life happily.

If you feel like crying, or just breaking down, so be it. We're humans. Not robots. Cry all you want, because each and everyone of us has a mourning period. It doesn't matter why, but if you feel down, be it failure in academics, failure in relationships, failure in family issues, let it out... drain the misery out of your system. and make it as quick as you can. Because you don't wanna lose out anything much more awesome than crying and mourning, people! :)

Smile. Even if you don't feel like it. Because when you smile, the people who smile back at you can really make you smile for real. Been there, done that, peeps. trust me. :)

Life can be bitchy. Seriously. :) But that doesn't mean you have to be bitchy back. The best revenge? Live the dreams that you have, Fight for them, fulfill them and Never bow down to life's bitchiness.

It's a good thing that Pandora closed the box just in time. so that we all have Hope, my dears.

You can do this. You are strong, independent and smart. Hell yes, you are. And how do I know this? because I'm trying to get back up as well. Just felt like sharing this fighting spirit with those who think that they've lost it.

We can do it. :) Chins up, people.