how? why must it be doorway? why not just i immerse myself into the walls of London and still attach myself to the smell of green forests early in the morning in front of my house in Malaysia? it's possible. but we can never get enough of just one world. sometimes, it's the best of both worlds.
i didn't believe this when my writing prof told me this. i thought i was adjusting well in London; a place that i've come to adore despite its unpredictable weather and the sharp immaculate British accent as I hear snippets of conversations on the streets. i thought everything was the same; what with the UK road system also used in Malaysia and how everything is on the right instead of the left like in the US (I will need to deal with the left-ness of US next year once I reach into the concrete jungle of NYC) i felt the same despite the everlasting layers of clothes i need to wear just to step out of my flat. i thought i was the same, the same old girl with tempers to deal with, parents who just can't really acknowledge that I'm already an adult living my own world out there, my annoying siblings that i miss dearly and a boyfriend to look forward when i go home, loving the way Indian food in London tried its best to mimic the wonder of spices used in Malaysia. ah! the list goes on and on. i can keep drone on if only you can bear with me.
no. it IS different. the proof? i'm here. now. in Malaysia. missing London that I hate so much because of the weather (I love the city though). Irrefutably, I love wearing simple attires with no eccentricities of matching my grey scarf with my pink coat, choosing which boots to wear to avoid slipping on the challenging icy path on the way to class. i can wear sandals, slippers. heck, i can wear shorts when i'm at home. :) why the clothings seem so significant? they're just clothes. hell no they're not. :) in London, i tend to reserve myself (something that my friends in malaysia will ridicule if they see this and my friends in London understand completely). in KL, i am back to my boisterous nature, loud, sunny, happy. funny how the clothes i wear can just affect my openness. luckily i do not need to cover up my head with layers of head scarves or else, i would never have the chance to think about this. haha...:)
not just personality that has changed. my senses are more alert. i become aware of the tiny details that i've always neglected on the roads as i drive my dearest car, ignorant of the glinting roofs of the house near the roundabout or the rusting yellow bus parked in front of my sisters' school. food? food was extremely delicious. i used to hate chilli, now i asked for more (although still at a very low rate compared to my sisters who love anything overly spicy), realizing that my tongue has tasted bland food for quite a while. not that the Brits do not have delicious food, it's just that, I grew up with the aroma of spice and the sharpness of taste as my body endeavoured the ecstasy of Malaysian food. :)
senses. personality. sounds pretty cliche. sounds like you're heard it from your mother who went overseas or your friend who experienced the same thing. yes, you've heard about how people changed. maybe that's why travelling broadens your knowledge. not only in the geographical, historical senses. but the way your soul change. your senses. your personality. you. change.
now, i think my neighbour is cooking nasi lemak. hmm...
oh. Mum called. time to gulp down her world class fried rice.
