i feel mad at myself

sometimes,

i feel mad at myself.

i'm just a soul with good intentions.

but, to the world,

my heart stinks from dark desires.

sometimes,

i feel mad at myself,

for being too nice,

for fearing other people's perception on me.

sometimes,

i feel mad at myself,

for i vent my anger, usually, at the wrong people.

sometimes,

i feel mad at myself,

for staying silent whenever people misinterpreted my deeds.

sometimes,

i'm tired of being the one who surrenders in fights,

most of the time, i do.

sometimes,

fatigue filled me, just to live up people's expectations.

well, now let me tell you,

if you cannot accept me as who i am,

then, i think,

don't even come near me.

for i will never fulfill your wishes and perception on me.

sometimes,

it's better to just hide this pain.