She forgot.

It's ironic. Nurul forgetting her LOUDNESS. that's like, pigs can swim in the clouds. that girl is well known for her boisterous nature and very exclusive unique sort of laugh. anyone who hears her laughing does not need to think twice that it's nurul that he or she is hearing.

she thought, she's the same when she came home. realizing that, yeah, sure, she'll meet most of her friends again. she'll be perfectly fine. like she thought she was when in london.

she did not what came into her mind that night. or what sort of emotions sneaking into the veins of her heart, making it feel like bursting with longing happiness. she did not know that her lungs needed to work extra hard that day to breathe the hilarity of being with good friends again. all day long, she was with her bestest two best buddies, yusuf and irwan. two Aussie guys who made my world an annoying but lovely place. :)

she did not expect to break down in front of all her beloved. nabilah, yusuf, lina, lanie, amore, atul, ain, nadia, adian, uzair, irwan and wan. she did not expect to cry, hell no, she was so used to being reserved that she forgot how tears of happiness could even exist.

she did not anticipate what her friends would feel. she thought, that if she was strong enough to keep all the bad things that happened to her, causing herself unbearable loneliness on a foreign soil, she was being brave. she thought that if she kept all the negative experiences to herself, she would be stronger.

but no.

she was brave when she confronted her frustration and somehow, a teensy bit of regret of choosing her own path. she was brave to keep moving on, knowing that God knows best for her. she was stronger in the arms of her friends, wiping away her tears and let her envelope herself in their hugs. she was stronger with every word of encouragement she heard escaping from the soft lips of tenderness in the hearts of her friends.

she forgot how loud and happy she was until that day. that night when feelings overwhelmed her. she forgot how noisy the group could be when we're all together, because she was so used of the crunch of her shoes on the streets of London, fast pace yet no matching tones of footsteps beside her. to accompany her in the throng of busy lives and stressful weather. :)

she forgot that she was this open and loving friend for all.

and that day. that day and night. reminded her of how happy she could be if she remembered the good things in life.