am i stupid?

this morning, i received my qa test marks. not good. average. maths has always been my doable yet not-so-liked subject. i gotta accept it nway because i didn't study. then, when i just started to feel inferior, because there was this some GENIUS guy starting to compare his marks with others, my best fren, well, he was sad with his marks too. i sent him a message, saying, YOU ARE NOT STUPID. n nagged him, telling him, YOU ARE GOOD IN MATHS. just because your marks was not high, doesn't make you a stupid guy. thinking back, i felt the stifling inferior feelings too. there are days wasted because i whined, feeling myself way below than others.

i must say, 11 years in the education system here in my country, i realise that we've all been brought up to an unwritten standard of intelligence. those who score high in the exams, are the SMART ones. those who are weak, or don't seem to reach just the right standard of the high marks, are the NOT-SO-SMART ones. a.k.a STUPID. ok, some might dispute over this but it's got some small teeny tiny truth in it.

i talked about this to JL. since i am surrounded with geniuses (my beloved classmates), seriously, sometimes, i feel like why was i even there with them. you gotta admit that having your friends with good scores in their exams while me receiving either an average or a very weak one, feeling inferior is inevitable. so, based on my discussion with JL, there was something he said that caught my attention.

d: am i stupid?
JL: NO! (immediate answer) why u say that?
d: u guys are soo smart weyh.
JL: hey, stupid is a very subjective word. you cannot really measure it. just because your exam score is low, does not make you stupid. if your exam marks are high, also does not make you totally intelligent. get what i mean?
d: well, u see, in our education system, everyone yg x score is considered weak. what if they are good in other stuff? not just academic?
JL: that happens if you only measure intelligence or stupidity only in academic. well, if u have other skills, like in music or something, you are still smart what.
d: in m'sia, why people are so hard to accept that not evryone can cope up with d unwritten rule of intelligence. if u see western people, ANY SORT OF INTELLIGENCE, not just in academic, they value it. they take it as part of the person.
JL: agree la.
d: so, if u say stupidity is subjective, intelligence also the same?
JL: of course. i didn't say that intelligence is not subjective.
d: owh, ok then.

(d dialogue written involved a lot of other stuff n also not entirely the real conversation we had but i didn't type them bcoz most of them are missing from my memory box)

so, after dat conversation, i guess, well, JUST BE WHO YOU ARE. not saying that if u r stupid, don't do something on it. what i'm thinking is, DO NOT EVEN THINK U R STUPID. true, u may not have d intelligence like others. because why? because, YOU HAVE YOUR OWN intelligence. god has blissfully bestowed upon us our BRAINS. utilize THEM. aim for your satisfactions. set your own standard. BELIEVE IN YOUR OWN STRENGTH, WORK OUT YOUR OWN WEAKNESS. nothing's wrong with that.